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Twitter: Maybe, your updates? You can also put your short introductions of yourself. Keep it long. Also, you can put your hit counter here. Quotes: We might kiss when we are alone, when nobody's watching. We might take it home, we might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared. It's just that it's delicate.
Thursday, July 06, 2006, 9:30 pm
First and foremost, FS is taking a toll on me. Nowadays I get so lethargic that I get migraines almost everyday. Its draining my energy and there's still another 4 bloody months to go. I don't get enough sleep anymore. The latest I ever got into bed eversince school's starts was by one something in the morning. And the earliest was 1230. Furthermore, I still wake up as usual by 5.45. I tried so hard to stay wide awake in class by eating polo sweets or fisherman's friend and drinking bottles of water. Somehow it was just a mere success. Even if I managed to stay awake, my mind shall be wandering else where. My body is aching everywhere and I really feel like freezing my brain.

I'm busy nowadays. I don't have time to entertain myself or any other fuckers. Thus, you won't get to see me online often and I won't be updating this trashy shit like usual. Those good old days are far behind me. I don't have time for that. I have many other precious important things to get my nerves turned on. In other words, I'm just so busy and caught up with schoolwork that I don't have ANY time left for my own or for the others. I can't slack and let time passed me like the good old days, nor can I go on a shopping spree. I'm just so busy and tired and fedup and stressed and pressurized. The ONLY thing I wanted is to have some peaceful sleep and not having any nabei disrupting my sleep and demanding something from me which is NOT even yours.

I'm furious and boiling really mad now.

I have to say something. My AP is coming back. I can't take it anymore. I'm saying and scolding more vulgarities than usual. I gave that 'I-can't-be-bothered-with-u-so-please-go-and-die' look to almost everyone that I find nbirratatingsickeningbastardsass.

I think I'm going down. I can't stopped telling myself that I'm being such a useless fellow. Whatever I did doesn't seem pleasing enough. Whatever I did isn't making me happy. Yes, people in school would say that I seemed perfectly fine. But Im not.

School this week seemed okay. Just that I nearly tripped and fell whenever I'm going down the stairs. And I get nauseous and giddy nowadays. There's this one day where I kind of nearly fainted when I'm inside the train. Luckily my guy and girl friend was there to grab hold of me. Sheesh. I told my mum about that and she seems really mad with me. She's saying that I'm not eating enough and all. But the thing is, I just don't have any appetite to eat. I just keep on drinking and drinking bottles of water. Sigh.

Yesterday was my orals. I blew it. Deep inside I knew I'm not gonna make it. My heart sank. I was lost for words. I'm disappointed, devastated and doleful with myself. No words can bring me up. I had my worst day for the week. I cried my eyeballs out straight after the MT O level orals and also when I reached home. I know I shouldn't dwell on it anymore. But I can't help feeling lousy and useless. I have such high expectations of myself that when I failed to reach them, the world seems to crumble down along with me. I'm not a strong person afterall.

I saw Reza last Friday near my area there. He seems surprised but calm. It was so unexpected but hahaha lah eh. He's such a good nice chap and any girls who's attached to him is really lucky. =D

Sigh. My migraine is killing me.

Now. I feel like crying. I need someone to assure me that everything gonna be alright. I need someone to say that it will all be gone soon. I need someone to stay by me. I need someone to give me huggs and cuddles. I just..can't take it anymore.

I don't think I have anymore time left for TPL. How can I have time for them when I myself doesn't even have time? Yes, its unfair. I want to be there, but I want to be here too. Prelims is getting nearer. Passing prelims is like another gateway to my O's. I don't know how I should communicate with them. I don't think I know them at all. I just can't concentrate. Sigh.

I'm afraid, I need to let go everything. Everything that I enjoy doing, shall be gone..

Perhaps, I need to loose myself and learn to take things easy and steady.

But I can't.













Its time of the month. Cramps are here to wake me up in the night.