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Twitter: Maybe, your updates? You can also put your short introductions of yourself. Keep it long. Also, you can put your hit counter here. Quotes: We might kiss when we are alone, when nobody's watching. We might take it home, we might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared. It's just that it's delicate.
Friday, April 21, 2006, 11:42 pm
i really don't know what got into me suddenly today. somehow, i feel like the whole world is going against me. i can't force myself to be happy. i don't find pleasure in doing things that i enjoyed doing anymore. its feels like im being forced and rushed into doing things.

i broke down in school twice. don't ask me why. call me a crybaby if u want. call me a stupid mad person. call me anything. i don't care. i don't give a damn fuck. i don't even give a shit.

i felt so down. i've never felt so doubtful about myself. i used to be a very optimistic and a carefree person. but somehow this week, negative thoughts just took control of my mind. don't ask me how was school this week. don't ask how i'm feeling now. everything seemed so wrong. everything is not going as planned. im dreading school more than ever. I ignored people who greeted or smiled at me each morning. i shut my eyes when people were talking to me. people asked me questions and i pretended not to hear. people talked to me nicely and i replied with a harsh tone. someone please tell me what have gotten into me.

the fatins was nice. i didn't told them anything. but seeing a sudden change in my attitude, they straight away knew what went wrong. i was holding back my tears so hard but i wasn't strong enough. i was never a strong person and im not a pretentious person. i've told myself umpteen times that i shall not cluttered my mind and shouldn't think negatively. but i failed. i don't talk much when my mind seems unclear. i may appear unabashed, but try putting yourself in my shoes and you'll know how hard and terrible it is.

a lot of things happened this week - both bad and good. i can't keep up with this pretence anymore - being ignorant and mean. and my actions have undeniably hurt some people.

Maybe i should just stop being so pessismistic. heh.











Perhaps, these are just the days of dread and doubt, not of excitement and merriment.





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i need help. someone save me. please.